Self-Marriage … Saying I Do to You

There’s monogamy … being committed to only one person.

There’s polygamy or what you may know as sister wives when a man marries multiple women.

Then there’s sologamy … getting married to one self.  This is a formal process and commitment to self-love.  Sounds like a strange concept but it’s a rising trend with single women.

Prior to meeting my boyfriend, the thought of getting married to myself did cross my mind.  Countless bad dates coupled with Mama Lee constant reminder that I was “no spring chicken no more”, the continuous disappointment and pressure began to take a toll.

Then there’s the societal ideal of being a mid-thirty single woman. Forget that I built a career for myself.  Forget that I am a home owner.  Forget that I have a fabulous circle of friends.

All that is a moot point if I am not part of a union.  And that’s what irate me … a woman is defined as being a wife or spinster.

I was first introduced to the self-marriage concept watching Sex and the City when Carrie announced she was getting married to herself.  She calculated the amount of money spent on bachelorette parties, weddings and baby showers while she may never reap the same financial benefits as her couple friends.

It’s no longer a silly plot line.  Saying I do to yourself is a reality and a growing business.

Similar to wedding planners, self-marriage consultants will help pick the dress, scout for venues, arrange a photo shoot and so forth.  For the Pinterest-type of gal, there are DIY packages with ceremony instructions, vows and affirmation cards.

Sologamists can also take a program that offers guidance and support prior to the wedding.  I wonder how the lessons are conducted.  Do they teach how to deal with conflict resolution, communication and chemistry with the mirror?


All jokes aside. I think it’s justifiable for a single woman and man wanting the same financial benefits as a couple.  It’s expensive living on your own especially in a city like Toronto.  Rather than having a ceremony, create a registry or request cash gifts on your birthday.

My issue is when self-married women opt-in to an “open marriage” and continue dating with the goal of matrimonial bliss. I consider that cheating on yourself. Plus it isn’t necessary to go through the hoopla to declare that you love yourself and won’t settle for anything less while dancing to Beyonce’s All the Single Ladies.

Last time I checked, that’s called dating with standards and expectations.

What do you think about the idea of self-marriage? Leave a comment below!

Smooches xo


2 thoughts on “Self-Marriage … Saying I Do to You

  1. Freddi says:

    Honestly, I skipped my first impulse to laugh-out-loud and really thought about it. I have read about this idea before and I remember the SATC version. Nope, it’s still the dumbest idea I have ever heard of. I mean ever. I am pretty liberal but this is just stupidity. They don’t need a self-marriage consultant, they need a therapist. I agree with your opinion on this. You don’t get to have your cake… and marry it!


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