The Dark Side of Dating Apps

Swipe to the left, swipe to the right.  There should be a warning that dating apps can be hazardous to your health or cause bodily harm like thumbitis.

I didn’t jump on the Tinder bandwagon when it launched in 2012.  It had a reputation for being a cesspool of dating duds looking for meaningless hook ups.  Plus, Vanity Fair’s scathing article calling it the source of the dating apocalypse certainly didn’t help its cause.

Until my friend Jenna met her new man on Bumble, the female-liberated version of Tinder, where the woman initiates the conversation if there is a connection.

“Sara, you must try it!  There are more serious guys on Bumble than Tinder.  And you could blog about it.”

Thus my Bumble journey begins.

After a few months of cruising the hive, I found the rules of engagement similar to online dating.

And then there are the depressing differences.

Filters are restricted to gender, age and location, whereas online dating allows you to weed out more guys based on your preferences: race, income, dietary restrictions, etc. Gluten free lovers rejoice! There’s a site for you.  The downside is the amount of time spent swiping left to get to Mr. Right. 

If you don’t know what ghosting means, consider yourself lucky.  This unfortunate term is when someone you’ve either be chatting with or dating suddenly stops contacting or responding to you.


This is much more rampant on dating apps because it’s easier to remove a match and move onto the next if you’re bored or connect with someone else which leads to my next point…

Serial dating.

Remember when multi-tasking was a positive skill to mention in a job interview?  Research has now proved that you are much more effective and productive if you focus on one task before moving onto the next.

The same goes for dating.  It’s difficult to invest your energy and time getting to know someone when you are thinking about the buffet of men on your phone just waiting for you.  Or if you’re on a lackluster date, you run to the washroom to find a better connection … not that I’m speaking from experience.

Lastly, some of my guy friends have encountered fem bots, the underbelly of dating sites and apps.  These engineered fake profiles are created to lure and trick users for phishing or cat fishing purposes.

Luckily this hasn’t happened to me but I’ve had my fair share of boring dates who made Data from Star Trek much more appealing.

Having said all that, dating apps aren’t all doom and gloom.  There is a bigger net of guys to chat and meet.  It’s accessible on your phone so you can fill up your dating calendar with the touch of a button.  And it does work … Jenna met her new beau on Bumble and they’ve been together for almost a year now.

With any dating resource and tool, be prepared, safe and open to meeting all sorts of people from the good to the bizzaros.

Smooches xo


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